Analysis of a messy bedroom, part 1

Okay, so everyone says that their room is a tip. Its a fact of life- at some point, even people with OCD neatness will confess that their room is a pig sty.

HOWEVER

Many of these declarations are lies... just like a skinny girl will complain that she's fat just to get attention. So I thought I should let you all see what my room looks like.

(Please note that A. this is my room, for real. I have not added to this mess in any way especially for these photos. Yes, i live like this and i realise its terrible, please don't think of me any differently now? B. I have only lived here for about 6 months. This is not an accumulation of crap from over the years, this is just SIX MONTHS worth of crap. I'll give you another update on the cleanliness of my room in a few months time, just to let you know whether the air is still breathable or not.)

BOOM. So, uh, there it is. You may want to take a seat, or grab a bin for the vomit which is inevitably crawling up your throat. 

Some believe you can tell what a person is like from the contents of their bag, or their car. If you look at my room, I think you can get a pretty clear idea of who i am as a person. I think you can tell that I dont spend alot of time in here from all the clothes thrown about and lack of walkways- i basically just sleep, blog and get changed in here on the odd occassion that I come home.

ARTICLE ONE- MY IMMENCELY COOL LAVA LAMP

I think this shows my lack of understanding for even slightly technical things. Having had a lava lamp die on me before (by 'die', I mean that the goopy bit went all solid), I try to keep it on as much as possible so that its all supple. I mean, if humans do yoga and pilates and stuff that keeps us supple, surely excercise will help lava lamps? I know the instruction manual tells me its fine to be left off for up to a month at a time, but i never do trust those damn instruction manuals..... its' eyes are set too close together.....

ARTICLE TWO- KEVIN'S FURRY MONSTER SLIPPERS HE GOT FOR XMAS

So this piece of evidence reveals my stealing side. Well, not exactly stealing, i'd say more magpie like. If i see something I like around the house, and it disappears, chances are it will surface a few months later in my room with things growing on it.

By the way, thats a joke... however cluttered my room is, i have an almost-phobia of mouldy stuff, so I spray pretty much everything with anti-bac.

ARTICLE THREE- MUM'S VASE WITH THE WILTING STALK OF THE ROSE THAT ROB GOT ME FOR VALENTINE'S DAY, ON TOP OF A PILE OF BOOKS WHICH ARE PRESSING THE HEAD OF THE ROSE

The rose was SO beautiful, I didn't have the heart to throw it out. So i decided to press the head. I put the books on, and the vase which was meant to be temporary, but to be fair, the vase does add weight to help press the flower more. Everytime I look at that little headless flower, its so sad.... its so headless and wilty..... :'(

The two books below it are some of the most awesome books I own- especially 'ANIMAL'. I got it for xmas one year, and it was so heavy, i accidentally dropped it on my toe that it went blue for weeks and weeks afterwards. The book is essentially a dictionary of pretty much all of the animals, insects and sea creatures in the world- a must for any kid that likes animals.

Unfortunately, life's a bitch and destroyed my young, innocent dream of becoming a vet by making me allergic to fur.

So yeah, I titled this post 'part 1' as I will probably add more installments to the epic tale of the minefield that is my bedroom- be afraid, be very afraid.